Initially, the batterer will try to explain his behavior as signs of love and concern but as time goes on, the behaviors become more severe.

He may not have all of these characteristics:

•      Jealousy

•      Controlling behavior

•      Quick involvement

•      Unrealistic expectations

•      Isolation

•      Blames others for his problems

•      Blames others for his feelings

•      Hypersensistivity

•      Cruelty to animals or children

•      “Playful” use of force during sex

•      Verbal abuse

•      Rigid sex roles

•      Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde personality

•      Threats of violence

•      Breaking or striking objects

•      Any force during an argument

•      Objectification of women

•      Low self-esteem

•      Tight control over finances

•      Minimization of violence

•      Manipulation through guilt

•      Close minded

The contrast between a perpetrator’s public image and private behavior with the abused partner sometimes appears confusing and contradictory.  Perpetrators are extremely proficient at disguising their abusive behaviors in order to appear socially proper.  For example, jealousy that turns to abusive rage in private may look like concern and sensitivity in public. Traits that may be interpreted as protective, caring aspects of a perpetrator’s personality may in actuality be possessiveness and control.  Many times, perpetrators are able to control their hostile expressions of power and control until after courtship, marriage or the establishment of other committed living arrangements.